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Chritmas Crackers
Posted: Sun Jan 10, 2016 10:31 am
by Bob Bull
Due to Mrs Bob's injury there was no cracker pulling in the Bull household this year with a resultant lack of awful jokes.
In order to introduce some life into this virtually moribund site, would anyone care to share their own particular 'worst cracker jokes' with us?
While not a cracker joke this one made our Parish Priest laugh last night;
A Chinaman applied for a job on a building site, but the foreman seeing his small frame said, "You would be no good with a pick and shovel, I'll put you in charge of supplies." So off to the store he went. Midway through the morning the foreman decided to check on the him, but when he went into the hut there was no sign of the Chinaman. "Where has the blighter got to?" He wondered when suddenly the Chink jumped out from behind the door and shouted; "Supplies! Supplies!"
Do try and do better.
Re: Chritmas Crackers
Posted: Mon Jan 11, 2016 2:18 pm
by Leigh Sebba
How did the cheese paint his wife ?
He Double Gloucester
From a rainy Alps
Re: Chritmas Crackers
Posted: Tue Jan 12, 2016 2:39 am
by Greg Mackie
Q. What's E T short for ?
A. Because his legs aren't very long.
Re: Chritmas Crackers
Posted: Thu Jan 14, 2016 3:59 pm
by Bob Bull
Are Morgan drivers to proud to pull crackers, or too shy to repeat the jokes?
Thank you Leigh )and that Aussie bloke)
Re: Chritmas Crackers
Posted: Thu Jan 14, 2016 4:48 pm
by Mary Lindsay
Sorry Bob, the Morgan lot seem to have gone into hibernation or is it apathy?
Anyway here are some for your collection:
Q: What does Santa suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney?
A: Claustrophobia!
Q: What do they sing at a snowman's birthday party?
A: Freeze a jolly good fellow
Q: Why does Santa have three gardens?
A: So he can 'ho ho ho'!
Re: Chritmas Crackers
Posted: Thu Jan 14, 2016 8:46 pm
by jack bellinger
Why did the Aussie Cricket Team ask the Bobsliegh Team for advice..............
They wanted to know how to go downhill Quickly !!!!!!!!!!!
Re: Chritmas Crackers
Posted: Thu Jan 14, 2016 9:11 pm
by Leigh Sebba
Why did the rubber chicken cross the road ?
To stretch his legs
Masses of snow now
Re: Chritmas Crackers
Posted: Thu Jan 14, 2016 9:37 pm
by Greg Mackie
jack bellinger wrote:Why did the Aussie Cricket Team ask the Bobsliegh Team for advice..............
They wanted to know how to go downhill Quickly !!!!!!!!!!!
The West Indies Bobsleigh Team ?
Re: Chritmas Crackers
Posted: Thu Jan 14, 2016 9:39 pm
by Greg Mackie
Leigh Sebba wrote:Why did the rubber chicken cross the road ?
To stretch his legs
Masses of snow now
Serves you right.
Re: Chritmas Crackers
Posted: Fri Jan 15, 2016 3:23 pm
by Bob Bull
How many Morgan drivers does it take to change a lightbulb?
One +four.
Why does it take six women with PMT to change a lightbulb?
It just does ALRIGHT!!!!!
Re: Chritmas Crackers
Posted: Fri Jan 15, 2016 11:30 pm
by Mary Lindsay
Be careful Bob….. [-X
Re: Chritmas Crackers
Posted: Sat Jan 16, 2016 9:08 am
by Greg Mackie
If you asked a Bull to change a lightbulb, would he charge ?
If he did...would it be a Bob ?
Hope I haven't given you a bum-steer.
Re: Chritmas Crackers
Posted: Sat Jan 16, 2016 10:36 am
by Bob Bull
Mary Lindsay wrote:Be careful Bob….. [-X
]
Re: Chritmas Crackers
Posted: Sat Jan 16, 2016 11:41 am
by Bob Bull
What did the kanga rue?
Probably being Australian!
Re: Chritmas Crackers
Posted: Sat Jan 16, 2016 4:01 pm
by jack bellinger
What do you call an out of control Photographer ???
A loose Canon
What do you call a Sleeping Bull ????
Bull Dozer