brakehorsepower.net

Once upon a time there lived a large dragon called Billy (not to be confused with a goat) who was sad because all the Christmas pudding had been eaton by another smaller dragon called.....................

Grumpy?

I think you're off course here Andy, when you started this thread you said:

This years Title is SNOW WHITE AND ?

Now, I don't want to be pedantic (heaven forfend ) but what has happened to Snow White?

It's a bit like starting a race at Brands only to find that on the second lap you are suddenly at Mallory.

Yippee!!!!! It appears that my posting has got us onto page 6!

Well done mary, page six indeed.

Snow white was good at typing but when she was feeling tired

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Until she felt lively again and sat up.

It is hardly suprising that Snow White is tired, I know I am, as we all must be of the utter drivel generated by the multitudinous contributions from such a diverse group of individuals, many using the Panto to settle old scores, which is hardly within the spirit of the season.

I had planned an item on Dim Wittington and his booted pussy, but feel in keeping with Mary's strictures, I must return to Snow White still charping from Jack's poison apple administered on an earlier page.

........ Snow, as the dwarves called her, seemed to be brain dead and the doctors were talking about switching off the life support machine,(cobbled together from an old 'flat rad' of 1930's vintage), Grumpy was horrified at the thought, but Smirky, with his propensity for putting things down, was all in favour. Jack the elf being mainly responsible for the poor girl's predicament, seemed uncaring, but secretly longed for a 'Handsome Prince' to hove in to view and deliver the kiss of life to the lass.
'But there's the rub' where in the serried ranks of Morgan drivers did such a Prince abide?
The closest Jack could think of was the 'Gerry Knight' complete with chamber pot helmet (see previous post), but was he t' type to carry out such a delicate operation?

Then Jack had a brainwave, which is difficult if you do not possess such a device, and decided to advertise in the small ads of the well know magazine, Miscegnation, written bythat well know agony aunt Miss Sellany.

" Wanted Handsome Prince with thick lips, ready to kiss. Any model considered, colour immaterial, must be available for immediate use.
Would part exchange for experienced Vet or Amateur Editor-in-Chief with cash adjustment. Experience not neccesary as training can be given."
Apply to Chelsea Working Mens Club.

Now who will apply for the job, or can members recommend suitable candidates to save poor Snow White from extinction?

We shall see.

Page 7 .. here we come!

Page 7 already and still 11 days to christmas?

Last Pantomine I saw was the 6 hour relay at Silverstone
I recall Mary Mary and a Black sheep
- but no Jack
couldn't find the other half of the Panto horse I expect
Or had son Billy swapped the +8 for a handfull of beans?

PS - Race of Champions was ACE - especially Coulthard binning it on the last corner whilst miles in the lead!!
As Clarkson pointed out - when he starts commentating for the BBC F1, he will get to the second lap and the TV will break

Page 7 already and still 11 days to christmas?

Now Keith, I've told you I don't want to be pedantic but I have to point out that we are on page 6 not on page 7....
Maybe it was just wishful thinking on your part.

I notice that Andy Green's Muse has abandoned him again, he obviously doesn't have the staying power of we stalwarts of the rubbish content of this forum.

I dont want to be ped,antic ...what that.. got something to do with a funny pushbike>>> but Mary its 10 days to Christmas..

jack

but Mary its 10 days to Christmas..

Yes, but we are still on page 6 and your very short postings aren't helping are they?

I am therefore resorting to very large letters to help us along to the next page, with only 11 days to go we haven't much time to achieve 10 pages.

It has taken since 22nd November to get this far

And please leave my pushbike out of this!

its still ten days to christmas!!,,

jack

its still ten days to christmas!!,,

Then there is even less time to get 10 pages of this rubbish written...................

Not many days to go at all ...so:

It's nine days to Christmas so will you send to me,
Ten major postings,
and a picture of Sebba Leigh.
It's nine days to Christmas so will you send to me,
Nine rhyming verses, ten major postings,
and a picture of Sebba Leigh
It's nine days to Christmas so will you send to me,
Eight Mary moments, nine rhyming verses, ten major postings,
and a picture of Sebba Leigh.
It's nine days to Christmas so will you send to me,
Seven Goddard ramblings, eight Mary moments, nine rhyming verses, ten major postings,
and a picture of Sebba Leigh
It's nine days to Christmas so will you send to me,
Six Knightly blessings, seven Goddard ramblings, eight Mary moments, nine rhyming verses, ten major postings,
and a picture of Sebba Leigh.
It's nine days to Christmas so will you send to me,
Five lines from Lees,
Six Knightly blessings, seven Goddard ramblings, eight Mary moments, nine rhyming verses, ten major postings,
and a picture of Sebba Leigh.
It's nine days to Christmas so will you send to me,
Four Falce photos, five lines from Lees,
Six Knightly blessings, seven Goddard ramblings, eight Mary moments, nine rhyming verses, ten major postings,
and a picture of Sebba Leigh.
It's nine days to Christmas so will you send to me,
Three Morris murmurs, four Falce photos, five lines from Lees,
Six Knightly blessings, seven Goddard ramblings, eight Mary moments, nine rhyming verses, ten major postings,
and a picture of Sebba Leigh.
It's nine days to Christmas so will you end to me,
Two Acklam interventions, three Morris murmurs, four Falce photos, five lines from Lees.
Six Knightly blessings, seven Goddard ramblings, eight Mary moments, nine rhyming verses, ten major postings,
and a picture of Sebba Leigh.
It's nine days to Christmas so will you send to me,
One Bellinger blundering, two Acklam interventions, three Morris murmurs, four Falce photos, five lines from Lees.
Six Knightly blessings, seven Goddard ramblings, eight Mary moments, nine rhyming verses, ten major postings,
and a picture of Sebba Leigh.

All together now...... It's nine days to Christmas ...........!

9.1/2 DAYS TO CHRISTMAS

six lines from lees (oh bu**ger).

Mary Lindsay wrote:

Page 7 already and still 11 days to christmas?

Now Keith, I've told you I don't want to be pedantic but I have to point out that we are on page 6 not on page 7....
Maybe it was just wishful thinking on your part.

I notice that Andy Green's Muse has abandoned him again, he obviously doesn't have the staying power of we stalwarts of the rubbish content of this forum.

Ooops - just woke up and damn - we're still on page 6!

It was wishful thinking on my part

And as for Mary being Pedantic ..................

Of course in the "City" there is a theory that Gordon "Scrooge" Brown has cancelled all Pantomines (which might explain why we seem to be making little progress towards page 7),

This is on the grounds that people might enjoy themselves and he would be the only one left being miserable!

However, Chancellor Widow Twanky with unfeasably dark eyebrows announced in the Pre-Budget rRport that there would in fact be a tax break for Panto attendance

being paid for by a supplimentary "Ugly Sisters" (no suggestions required) tax to come into effect in 2012

In view of being Centenary year for Morgan

there is also a suggestion that Cinderella's coach be replaced by a silver Aeromax

which may of course turn into a rather down-at-heel Real Plus 4 (with respect to the long lost Rev I R Drotcart for those with long memories) at midnight (no air conditioning, but the EP90 smells better)

you can't keep a good tractor driver down (apparently)...
where is he now? (or is that another thread)?