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I thought it was Sharlee
Who is the poetic Goddard.
Philip’s poems make me flee
He really is no bard

a poetic panto? Sounds great.

The Sneezy elf was very gently
Playing with his jack and his tool kit
Snow White drove past in her Bentley
Looking really quite fit

.....

The Christmas vet
does not quite get
poetic rhyme or scansion,
instead he baits
his class Red mates
from safe within his mansion

He's waiting there
amid the cheer
with single malts lined up.
When those are done
he will move on
to spicy stirrup cup.

A few of those
and he well knows
his posts get rather risqué.
A dog, a bone,
when Sharlie's home,
he just turns awfully frisky.

I'm glad to say
there is a way
he harnesses this fun.
No S&M
et al, pro tem,
he's off to the Cresta Run

No V8, tyres
or dodgy wires,
no tricky scrutineers,
a pretty sleigh,
a tiny tray
and lots and lots of beers.

And suddenly upon the scene of this failing panto
there comes a bard with rhymes so keen it drives along with gusto.

Snow White laughs and once again we can believe in Santa
the merry dwarves all caper round drinking pints of Fanta.

For they well know that excess malt can badly dull the senses
and make the most innocuous man succumb to false pretences.

So let us once again my friends take up the much loved tale
and sally forth with Snow White and try not to land in jail.

Let us return to the story which as I recall
was wicked witch, rosy apple and mirror on the wall.

ye venerable vet is not alone



There was an old man from Milan,
Whose limericks never would scan.
When told this was so,
He said, 'yes, I know.
'But I always try to get as many syllables into the last line as I possibly can.'



pauillac (pichon-longueville) 2000

To much aklaim the Principle Boy appears on stage all thigh slapping, hale fellow well met bonhomie.
Where has he been? Never mind he springs into the spotlight with prosody akimbo, instantly brightening the darkening skies of Snow White and triggering a further burst of rythmic (mental) gymnastics, from would be Laureates.

Mary, Mary, quite contrary how does your Morgan go?
With lot's of bottle and full throttle, and trophies all in a row.

Gentlemen! The fair Mrs. Goddard's name appears to being bandied about in this Panto rather a lot, yet the lady herself remains self effacing and modestly refrains from complaining. Shame on you all!!

Only 2 foot six
But knows a few tricks
Lipstick often
Never forgotten
'specially for the pic's

The opening round
At the back she was found
As her mind got fitter
Her times got quicker
And up the grid she bound

From ivory to silver
Her car did quiver
Drum pads did squalk
About tyre compound she did talk
Then a C pot to home she did deliver

This 'Grumpy' young maid
Her subs having been paid
Went onto the track
then alas, alack, alack
the visit to Brian was not delayed

So what for next year?
New colour for class c I fear
Change orange to green
If that is not too obscene
For the mechanics to engineer

She can find the dipstick
(And of course the lipstick)
But electronic talky
Is not her forte
So her husband has to do all the postings and he's not very poetic so sometimes gets the last sentence far little too quick.

Excellent

Can we just get back to the plot as we still have 7 pages to go

So the 3 bears from another tale were just...............................

I.m going to work

jack

Hi! Ho!, Hi! Ho! it's off to work we go, flogging spares and other wares, Hi! Ho! Hi! Ho!

Alright Andy.......

Goldilocks was walking through the woods, when she heard a fierce growling noise. Oh! Dear! she cried, it must be those Damn Bears after my porridge. So she jumped behind a bush trembling with fear as the noise grew louder and louder,then a horrifying sight hurtled in to view!!!!!

Speeding along the rough track came THREE MORGAN SPORTS CARS, engines growling, spewing smoke from open exhausts and leaving vast clouds of gravel and dust behind them! Oh! Horror it was the CRANMOG ANNUAL TRIAL, the wild eyed figure of Tracy Gatesopen leading the trio in an erratic course through the forest (For a fuller report see this months Miscellany) (Hows that for a plug Charles?).
What could a girl do faced with such a terrifying sight?

There was only one thing she could do ........................... Andy! A change of scene please, but hurry ...............!

THAT’S BETTER, back to the panto at last, must have been in the wrong forum . Do you know, the kids and I were sitting hoping to enjoy Snow W, and some Vet guy started banging on ( sorry not a good analogy) about Tom Cats and there bits and pieces (I thought it was going to be about turbos) and then it started to deteriorate into some sort of sex education show.

Children! CHILDREN! In this forum!

Mr. Tidsall you must be out of your mind ............ Oh! So nothing has changed since the TT.

Alladin a red Morgan rubbed his lamp and out popped a Genie clutching a 'standard camshaft' from which dangled a 'for sale' sign bearing the legend 'Fifty knicker or will POA for Tennis racket'.
Ali Baba promptly mugged the innocent youngster and rushed of the the MSCC Annual Ball where he and the 'Forty Thieves' were due to provide the entertainment;
A performance of 'Mother Goose' starring Essex Gal and Jack the Lad, with support from Andrewp in a pair of stolen fishnet stockings, Roger Darkside sppining ... a yarn, and Simon who had already began.

Thank heavens Goldilocks was saved.......... wasn't she?

Is it time yet for –

‘Oh no she isn’t ‘

And

‘Behind you’ ?

Where ??