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One dark night in Chelsea a burglar broke into Bellinger Towers to steal the famed Bellinger Gold hoard (Jack's wallet). Suddenly, as he crept through the gloom of the silent castle a voice said

"Jesus is watching you."

Terrified by the unexpected noise the burglar queried in a quavering tone.

"Who said that?

"Saint Peter!" Came the reply.

Switchinng on his torch the intruder spied a parrot sitting on his perch.

"You stupid bird", he cried, "I nearly died of fright, any way what sort of idiot calls his parrot Saint Peter?

The parrot smiled and said.




"The same sort of idiot who calls his rottweiler Jesus!"

Jolly Jack, Merry Mary, Boisterous Barry and Twinkling Tim suddenly came upon the treasure and gathered up the priceless Morgan spares. They roared off into the distance with cries of Happy Christmas Everyone!
And they all lived happily ever after..............

................. but it was Christmas Day, and the pirate crew all woke up very early and rushed to the maindeck to look in the socks they had hung on the jib boom. Excited cries filled the air as they examined the new flintlocks, cutlass's, Jolly Rogers, headscarves, wooden legs, hooks, eye patches and I pods that were unwrapped, with gaily coloured paper in profusion flying in the howling gale that was blowing from the North.

After the initial jollity they all settled down to a traditional Christmas dinner of roast parrot and all of the trimmings beautifully prepared by the lovely Mary and her faithfull partner, who was also very hungry so 'Wax' Jack eat.

Following an afternoon of fun filled with traditional games like Walking the Plank, Swinging from the Yard Arm and Keel Hauling, they all sang a few verses of
Sod You Jerry Mental Men, before sailing in to the sunset ..........................................

(Until next year)

'The Alternative Treasure Island' was produced and directed by;

Mary Lindsay. member of the Honourable Institute of Pantomine Producers Yearly (HIPPY)

All parts were played by;

Mary Lindsay
Jack Bellinger
Bob Bull
Tony Lees
Mark Shears
John Bevan
Peter Rafter
Tim Hill
Phil Eggington
Robin Singleton

The Producer wished to thank the Moderators of the Church of Scotalnd and the BHP web site for permission to stage this entertainment.

All profits from ticket sails (!) will be donated tto the charity; The Bulldog Rstoration Fund.

Bob- should we MULLET over before we finish early? Let's not give up just because the yuletide sherry has given us a bad haddock etc....

John, there's no need to be sharkastic.....

Sorry Mary, will try to SKate around the issue next time in case I am caught inbetween a ROCK and a hard PLAICE

Make sure you have a few squid in your pocket or you won't be able to have a whale of a time.

Well they do say it is not over until the Fat Lady sings.

Mind you I am not suggesting for one moment that anyone is fat, but if the corset fits ........................!

Come on Bob, give us a song!

Come on Bob sing us a song...
The good thing about that Mary, is we wont have to listen!!

No Jack, but we will hear the dogs howling in the locality from everywhere in England, unless of course Bob is now going to tell us that as well as being an international cycling and tennis star he is also an opera singer

[quote="Mary Lindsay"]he is also an opera singer"

Funny you should mention that .....................

Do you mean you will sing opera for a tenner?
Or are you a mate of Barry Tone?